Skills

  • skill 1
  • skill 2
  • skill 3
  • i'm so damn skilled

Education

Ph.D Medical Diagnostician, 2013

Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital (PPTH)

Ph.D Criminal Law, 2017

Harvard University

Work Experience

Doctor | Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital | 2017-Present

  • did diagnoses
  • worked with Dr. House
  • accidentally killed some patients
  • did surgeries on people
  • saved one or two lives
  • performed leg surgery on the wrong leg
  • stole a patient's painkillers
  • drank disinfectant while performing surgery
  • skipped clinic duty to watch soap operas

Doctor | Another hospital | 2013-2017

  • fixed people's health
  • prescribed medicine
  • researched incurable diseases
  • skipped clinic duty sometimes
  • prescribed incorrect medications
  • misdiagnosed several patients
  • forgot to wash hands before surgery
  • left surgical instruments inside patients
  • gave patients incorrect information